Are you going to have another baby?

“So are you going to have another baby?”
This seems to be the question that people ask right after you have a child. This question can bring up lots of emotions if you struggled to have the child you are holding in your arms. Having dealt with infertility and losses, adoption and having a rainbow baby (a biological child after losses), we have experienced much and are left with mixed feelings trying to grasp the idea of having another child. We struggled so much to have the children we are currently blessed to have.

So now here we are with two children, four and two, and you know what question is on my mind all the time?

“Are we going to have another?”

I’ve always wanted three children and I really don’t know why. Maybe because I’m an only child? Maybe because the best people I met in college were all from families with three children? Maybe because the number 3 is one of my favorites? Maybe because I like to torture myself? Whatever the reason, the thought that I COULD possibly add a third child by natural conception, pregnancy and birth seems like a reality and such a joke at the same time.

REALITY

  • I had a pretty awesome pregnancy and birth experience. We were wary at first just because we’ve experienced so many losses before but we treated it like “normal” people do and kept faith. In the end, I loved being pregnant. It was an easy pregnancy and it ended with a pretty awesome birth experience. I can’t wait to do it again.
  • My cycles returned when my daughter was 15 months old. They have been like clockwork but different than before because I am showing signs of fertility. These signs are new territory for me and make me think that my body is ready to reproduce again.
  • All of my pregnancies were conceived without any interventions when we were not focused on trying. Surely this could happen again.
  • I LOVED being pregnant and I love the newborn stage. I love wearing babies and sharing their newness with others. I want that all again.
  • I want my two kids to have another sibling, to watch them love and nurture a new baby and sibling. They will be the best siblings and we all have love to share.

THE JOKE

  • It took us 6 years to conceive.
  • We lost three pregnancies in those 6 years. And that is hard to reconcile and to consider going through again.
  • I have TWO beautiful kids….I really don’t want to be greedy.
  • The monthly cycle: the timing of sex, the two week wait, the sadness when your menstruation starts. Do I really want to go through the depression, the self hate talk, the emotional roller coaster?
  • I was an emotional MESS when my daughter was about 6 months old; she was’t sleeping, my son dropped his nap AND we potty trained him (whose idea was that???). I yelled, I screamed, I threw things, I became the mother I never wanted to be because of lack of sleep and it took all of us a long time to recover from that. I don’t want to relive that again.
  • Two kids are EXPENSIVE. We struggle making large financial decisions now….why on earth do we want to add to this by adding another mouth to feed?

These are just a few of the thoughts that run through my head daily. Over the next few weeks I will share my musings on our walk to deciding and possibly trying for a third child.

This is a continuation of my journey through the thoughts, feelings and experiences contemplating adding a third child to our family. My initial post provides a glimpse into the reality and the joke of this question for our family. I also question The 40 Year Gap and discuss how our family is Comfortable as a Family of Four. I also share our Pregnancy Fire Drill that happened a few months ago. I really struggle if I should go in The Bubble when trying to conceive. I then asked the question, “Can Facebook Help Me Get Pregnant?” My husband and I also consider Is Gender Selection for Us or Just for Fun? Then we tried my Trifecta for Getting Pregnant and it worked!!!

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