Suggestions for How to Dance with you Mother/Daughter-In-Law

 A scripture to follow up with the mother-in-law post: Clothe yourself with tender-hearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience making allowance for each others faults and forgiving the person who offends you and remembering the Lord forgave you so you must forgive others. Colossians 3:12-13


A blog follower of wisemommies sent me a question: “How do I strengthen or work on having a relationship with my mother-in-law or for a mother-in law to do with her daughter-in-law?” Thank you for sending in your question; Here are some of my suggestions and some suggestions from the book that I’m reading:


The Daughter-In-Laws Dance

  1. Consider the example you are showing your own children for how you honor and treat your own parents and in-laws
  2. Tell your mother-in-law how much you love her son and what a good job she did in raising him
  3. Remember the fact that how he was raised made him the man that you love
  4. It will make your husband feel cherished and loved to respect and love his parents
  5. Be teachable
  6. Be yourself and relax
  7. Pray for your mother-in-law
  8. Pay attention to your own marriage. Don’t get so involved with other family matters that you forget your husband
  9. Appreciate the differences amongst both families and teach your children to do the same
  10. Don’t compare your mother-in-law to your mother. See above: appreciate them both for their differences.
  11. Listen to your mother-in-law, be tolerant, be confident, and try to laugh
  12. See a relationship that you will enjoy, give it time
  13. Set boundaries ahead of time to let others know how you would like to be treated
  14. Work out holiday schedules well in advance 

The Mother-In-Law Dance

  1. Pray for your son and daughter-in-law
  2. Send cards and acknowledge important days
  3. Give her time and space
  4. Affirm her every chance you get, compliment her abilities, taste, and character
  5. Be a Christian example to her, not judgmental, but loving
  6. Praise much. Consider criticism poison to the relationship
  7. Don’t compare your daughter-in-law to your daughter
  8. Have a sense of humor; don’t be afraid to laugh and lighten up
  9. No meddling allowed
  10. Be positive and encouraging
  11. Respect your daughter-in-law’s different way of doing things 



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